Great weather for bookwork

Christmas is over, son's on the way home, snow on the ground, good day to do bookwork. Stopped at the www.Honeville.com world headquarters this morning and discussed ebay and Amazon. Started a couple brush piles on fire, then took Sue to Chilton's for lunch. 

It's times like these I wish Dad had insulated the shop.  We've talked about it, even looked into the spray on foam kind I'd REALLY like to have. I think the estimate as $12,000.  I'm pretty sure it was more than Dad gave for the shed.  We've discussed going to Ken Nichols (http://insulationfactoryseconds.com/) and buying foam board but have never calculated the cost.

I guesss the bookwork won't get done if I don't start

"Get up!  It's Christmas"

There are times you miss having little kids around.  But not if you like sleeping in on Christmas morning.  Here are a few phone-camera photos I took at Mom's the other night when we gathered to see Kyle.

The first is one of my favorite subjects.  They were fascinated with "Grandma Reeeta's" (you have to get enough e's in her name) nativity set under the tree.

 Reminds me of someone telling of a problem they had at their church Christmas program.  Seems someone took baby Jesus into protective custody.

Yes, it is a lousy photo. It's about as good as she lets me get it.

20 days and counting

Has it really been almost 3 weeks since I entered anything?  Time flies, having fun or not.  I did spend a bit of money today.  Rather than post the same thing twice, see the farm page at www.bumpusfarms.us

So what else had been going on?  I went to an auction Saturday in West Union.  It was Alice Utterback's estate.  It was like any other auction, some stuff went too cheap, some went too high. And don't bid unless you are willing to take it home.
Just to remind me of that fact, I have a $20 pool table in the crib.

I hope to get through the week with no funeral home visits.  It's been a trying month for the community.  I was waiting on the salesman to get back today I was dealing with on the tractor.  He had been to a funeral for a 20 year old young lady.  When her folks left for work one morning she was still in bed.  When they got home they found she was still there.  No apparent reason, she just didn't wake up. That would be rough.

The new preacher has been at church for 3 weeks.  I have even heard one of his sermons!  Between leading Junior church in December and special programs and special family dinners on Sunday evening I think I've only heard one of his sermons.

Speaking of church, I think we have had a major failure.  The closer for the back door is messed up and may need replaced.  That is significant because the opener had a characteristic squeak every time it opened. Coop commented one time to never let it be fixed because it alerted you to someone coming in the building during the week.  Right now they'll know from the WHAM it makes closing.

Anyway, Merry Christmas.  Be careful out there.

I know, I know ....

I know, I know ... the old guy is supposed to keep his blog up to date and post interesting and artistic photographs and spell everything correctly and be grammatically correct.  I guess if you are not happy I can refund your admission price.

So, what's been happening?  Harvest is done.  Fall tillage probably is.  Irrigators are ready for winter ... 'cept for that one underground line I need to pump out. I guess that's job security. 

Need to start shop work.  Black truck blew the heater core during harvest.  We just bypassed it and kept running. Need to change oil in the 9270, 8630, maybe one of the Magnums, the 560, probably need to change the loader too.  Forklift still doesn't like me.  It's either going to run to my satisfaction or find a new home.

I keep toying with the idea of insulating the shop so we can heat it.  Dad never saw any advantage to that, but then again up until the last couple years he never got cold.  Maybe I should do some measuring and figuring.

New preacher got moved in this week.  Well, all the stuff is in the house anyway.  I doubt it is all set up yet.  But then again I think we still have boxes that haven't been unpacked since we moved 10 years ago.

Sue's working on addressing Christmas cards.  I could set up a database and print them so much easier but she likes to practice her calligraphy.

OK, gotta get going. It's 1st Wednesday and we eat at 6;00 at church.   I did put a couple photos on the farm site www.BumpusFarms.us .  Later Y'all.

Harvest is over!

OK Kiddies, what caused this in the corn field?

Beaver damage.

It's 11 PM and I should be in bed ...

It's 11 PM and I should be in bed.  Harvest is rolling fairly well.  We are getting crops out about as fast as the ground allows.  Today we started shelling corn, finished up on corn east of the highway; switched to milo and finished the last of the milo; switched to beans and got the last beans east of the highway;  moved west and are cutting some very nice ruts trying to get the beans out. But we got out about 75 acres even with all the switching and moving.  Not bad for us.

Yesterday was ... interesting.   Ben (Aman's brother) took a vacation day to help us by running the grain cart.  We had 20 acres of corn that had to be carted close to a 1/4 mile to the truck.  Things just went incredibly smooth until just before noon Aman turned the end to shell the last 3 rows and the combine stopped moving.  Phone call to Stan at Farm Pride.  We pulled the combine to the shed.  Mechanic came out, took the hydrostat pump off,

took it to the shop and replaced the shaft and coupler (second time in 4 years) and had us going by 6 PM.

But back to 11 PM.  I've been fighting a cold, don't feel great, need to hit the ground running in the morning.  But about 8:30 PM some guys made a serious mistake involving a Jeep and a tree stump.  Fire Dept stood by while rescue removed one guy from the wreckage and put him in a helicopter.  So I am still a bit too wound up to go to sleep.

And everyone said when it stopped it would really stop ...

All summer folks were saying when the rain stopped it would really stop.  Guess what folks, it hasn't stopped yet!  But I guess we are doing better than a lot of people.  We are about half done with commercial corn ... but then we didn't have a lot this year.  If we could get 3-4 good days of corn shelling we could probably be done with it.  Beans, well, I don't want to talk about beans.  We  have a little over 100 acres around Mom's and around 170 acres out west, with 40 - 50 acres of double crops left.  And 10 acres of milo.

I have made a few calls about renting a second combine.  Apparently I am slow, because everything has already been rented.

Oh well, Romans 8:28 still works.  I keep telling myself that.

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING

The picture is priceless, but the verse below is wonderful!

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING
A message every adult should read because children
are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my
first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately
wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a
stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind
to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my
favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little
things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a
prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always
talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a
meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I
learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care
of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have
to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you
handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't
feel good, and I learned that I would have to be
responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come
from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things
hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you
cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of
life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and
productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and
wanted to say, 'Thanks for all the things I saw when
you thought I wasn't looking'

I'd like to credit the author but I haven't a clue who it was.  I found this on an Ag Forum and borrowed it

More Stir-Ator repair

I got the Stir-Ator going again.  Now if I can just get the blog software to behave!  Remember the bent pulley mount?  Repaired it. Straightened the guide arm.  Put it together and it all worked.  But you see that little curly wire in the background of the photo of the pulley mount?  THAT was going to cause trouble.

The wire got loose enough it caught on the trolley as it moved and pulled in two. Since that fed the track motor the machine stopeed moving ... but continued to run. Long term we need to install an update kit.  But that will have to wait until the bin is full so we can stand on top of the corn and work. I got it fixed Sunday afternoon. But while doing that I spied this

The big pulley in the middle is going to need replaced. When you take off the nut holding it on everything falls off. It's going to be fun.
If you have a Stir-ator you don't need a hobby

Used to be we said we didn't need a hobby, we had a Do-All. During harvest I tend to feel that way about a Stir-Ator. We tried some corn at Mom's and it was too wet. So we put it in the bin to put a little heat on it. Well, the !@#$!! mice had gotten inside the dryer fan control and made a mess out of things. I rewired until I reached a point of needing parts I didn't have and called an electrician. What has that to do with this? While they were working on the fan we found the Stir-Ator wouldn't start. Finally figured out the problem was in the fuse box bolted to the bin roof. They suggested a solution to get by until the bin was full enough to stand on and work on things. The only risk was it bypassed a shut down feature on the Stir-Ator. But it ran. So when the wheel jumped off the track (sorry for the poor photos, all I had was my cell phone) the machine did not stop.

The result was some things got really tight. Like this guide arm that is supposed to be straight.

And this pulley bracket that is supposed to be square.

But it DID shut down ... when it pulled the electric wire in two. Of course that is all overhead as well. I'm not really sure where the break is, if it is in the troublesome fuse box or in the box on the Stir-Ator or in the wire between the two someplace.

And of course this is 18 ft off the floor in a bin with 2 ft of corn in it. Which means a 20 ft ladder just does reach. Well, it doesn't reach everything. But that also means fighting a 20 ft ladder inside a bin with 2 ft of now dry corn in it. Remember walking in dry corn? You sink almost up to your knees.

I got the mechanical repairs all finished and was getting ready to start on the electrical when Mom stuck her head in the door and asked if I wanted to go downtown and eat supper.

I have to finish the electrical part tomorrow.

You know, some seed companies give away ink pens. Some seed companies give away thermometers. Some seed companies give away hats and jackets. Some seed companies give away trips. Becks gives away 4 wheelers...
The IH sticker is optional ...

I know, I actually paid for it. But the seed did not cost any more than the competition and is performing very well. So why not get everything you are paying for?

The plastic box is one I put on to hold the battery for the sprayer.
David and Adam spent the afternoon with Grandpa and Grandma Sunday. David found Grandma's lawn mowing glasses and gloves. He has on the glasses and the Dale Earnhart gloves and is trying to get his hand with the glove on inside a puppet.
Sorry about the quality. My camera was in the truck and all I had was the cellphone

nothing profound to share

It's going to be a long fall. As I mentioned on the farm site (www.BumpusFarms.US) it had been a start and stop, get ready and wait fall so far and will probably continue that way. Our driest corn is 28% (15.5% is where you want it). We have cut the dry milo, what is left is over 23% (you want 14% with it). We've cut nearly 200 acres of beans, but are at the point of having 5 acres of dry beans in the middle of 40 acres of replanted beans and everything else is green. Wheat planting should start this week ... all day of it.

I don't feel very profound. I should be outside doing something on a beautiful day but had to get the minutes together for the church board meeting tonight and got to updating web sites and blogs.

The church web site is current again (www.wucc.us)
The farm web site/blog is current (www.Bumpusfarms.US)
the West union start page is current (www.westunion.blogspot.com)
and once I hit Publish this blog will be current.

Think I'll go for a 4 wheeler ride on my new seed corn Polaris. Some companies just give out hats and jackets.

R I P
? - September 15, 2009

You know it will happen someday.
Doesn't mean you'll be ready for it.
Dogs are fairly short-lived creatures
but live longer than others.
Lizzie reached the end of her fight today.
She will be missed.

I found this online and it seemed very appropriate.
It is not used by permission, but I think the author would understand:

My Little Friend

I have a little friend whose always by my side,
We're never very far apart no matter what the time.
I have a little friend who listens to what I say and doesn't judge
me for what I've done but what's inside of me.
She gives me the support I need to make it through the day.
And when I'm sad she seems to know just what I need to have.
My little friend is not like me she has some things I don't,
like four legs, a tail that wags and a nose that's wet and cold.
She lets me know with a gentle nudge that she cares
and is there for me.
We'll never be that far apart,
and when the time does come,
I know we'll be together again in that spot above.

- Linda McBroom©1997

I'm doing pretty good for July 15th ...

I'm doing pretty good for July 15th ...
What do you mean it's Labor Day?

We are at a stopping point on the window painting / repair / replacement on the house. (Sorry, no photos) It started out as a couple day job painting window trim. We've spent close to 3 weeks on it. We have replaced 4 windows and have pretty much decided over the next year or so to replace almost all of them.

Moving along ...

Outside of a kid calling her Grandma, Sue can't think of a much higher honor than a little kid pulling on his Mom's hand and pointing and saying "That's my Sunday School teacher". Here are a couple of her students and a couch full of mine

Someone asked how the restaurant was doing, so here are a few candid shots

It's hard to get a waitress to stand still long enough for a photo

And it is so famous people travel all the way from Idaho to eat there

Well, enough for now. Be sure and visit the farm site at www.bumpusfarms.us

Middle August

Has it really been that long since I posted on here? Time flies ... whether you are having fun or not. Since my last post we have painted and irrigated and irrigated.
We've survived Vacation Bible School.

We've been to the family reunion.
(See www.BumpusReunion.info for some photos)
And irrigated.
We have gotten to see a lot of thunderclouds ...
in the distance

But we've been down this road before

Sometimes you just have to stop and park in the shade

and enjoy what there is to see

Oh, and if you want to have some real fun the next few days
we bought 3 gallons of paint for the trim on the house.

Mindless musings

Yes, it is 4:15 AM. It's irrigation season and I have been out shutting down a system in the middle of the night. Problem is I am now wide awake I thought it would be around about 3. Wrong! It was around about 2. So I reversed it, sped it up, and set my alarm on my cell phone for 1/2 an hour and took a nap in the middle of a soybean field. Now I'm home and awake. Maybe it is time for some unconnected mindless musings.

From http://www.thefreedictionary.com/musing
mus·ing (myzng)

adj. Deep in thought; contemplative.

n. 1. Contemplation; meditation.2. A product of contemplation; a thought.
I've been reading the obits again. I know,the kids don't understand why one would want to do that. It is probably the most "real" part of any paper. I saw a line in one today that really made me pause and contemplate A brief excerpt. "passed away Friday evening, in his residence. He was preceded in death by his wife of 65 years on Oct. 29, 2006. Due to severe prolonged loneliness, he took his life." I pondered on such loneliness. Who might I know that was that lonely and if so what could I do about it. No answers yet.

Actually, he sounds like he might have been one of those folks who would be fascinating to visit with if you could steer the conversation the right way. The obit said "in 1937, he joined the U.S. Navy. World War II broke out shortly after his release from the Navy. He joined the U.S. Army Air Corps and served in World War II from which he was honorably discharged."

To my generation such dedication to country has been largely unheard of.

"He purchased a trucking company in 1946, in Annapolis, Ill., and sold it in 1961."

That all by itself would make me want to look at him and go "What? ...a trucking company in Annapolis?" And to operate it for 15 years and then sell it!

In 1952, he bought the *** tavern in West Terre Haute and sold it in 1961 as well.

Well, maybe that explains the exit from trucking. Beating around in a 40's or 50's truck on narrow 2 lane highways could drive anyone to drink!

During 1964, he became owner of *** Sporting Goods business. He transported live bait throughout the Midwest.

Putting his trucking experience back to good use?

During that time, he became interested in burglar alarms. He developed his own burglar alarm system that was UL approved called *** and distributed it to many homes and businesses in the Wabash Valley.

Sounds interesting. I just bet if a person could have sat and picked his mind there were a lot of fascinating stories and good ideas in there. But he let his loneliness get the best of him. Another lesson learned.

Well, enough musings for now. Maybe I'll have more later.



.

VBS 2009

One of the high points of the year for me is Vacation Bible School.

It is also one of the most exhausting.

It does weird things to you

(yes, that is Steve Sheets)
You get to try new experiences in child care

(and Rick Poorman)

And it makes you do things you would not normally do

But for some reason when I suggest going to 10 day VBS next year everyone gives me the same look?

....actually, that wasn't it.

And when VBS is over for another year everyone gets excited about that as well


But we will do it again next year and love almost every minute of it.
I can hardly wait.

The trouble with having your name on the truck door:

Sue and I had been out for supper for our anniversary and stopped by Wal-Mart in Terre Haute for some grand-kid supplies. When we were walking back to the truck the lady parked beside us said "You don't remember me do you? 26 years ago I was broke down along side the road Highway 154 and you guys gave me a ride to my dad's place." I guess I'm a bit ashamed I didn't, but I'm glad it is not so uncommon to offer someone help that I don't remember all the faces.

Sue and I got to discussing some of the folks we had stopped and assisted (my kids will tell you the old guy rarely passes a stopped vehicle with a person inside, especially a female with kids). I guess one thing really stuck with us. We have done it so often that it is second nature to us, and so few of them we remember.

I'm sure to them it is a memorable experience and like Pam (the lady's name) they remember details. But to us it is just something we do. I only remember one time vividly. We were coming back from Sue's folks and a young woman and child were stranded. We ended up bringing them home for the night and arranging for their car to be repaired the next day. It is the only time I really felt we stuck our necks out for 2 reasons. 1) we brought them into our house even though we did not know them (and to be honest I can't tell you her name today) and 2) we went to our local mechanic, who had a wrecker at the time, and told him we would guarantee he was paid for the parts on this job so the only risk he had was the labor.

I am also struck by something else. I do not recall ever feeling threatened in any way. As pastor Jack would say, God has been good to us.

Hello from the fireworks capitol of SE IL and SW IN

OK, so maybe I am rubbing it in a bit. West Union went ahead with our scheduled fireworks July 4th. I'm told the closest place that didn't cancel as French Lick. The crowd was WAY down, but it was one of the better fireworks shows they've had. The parade was rescheduled, which I think was unnecessary but will work out OK. There is a service scheduled at the park at 5 PM Sunday honoring military/EMS/firefighters/police and a 2:00 parade will fit in quite nicely.

We did it! We finished planting Thursday. Well, maybe we just quit. We got everything planted we intended except for a couple low spots, and did not replant a few drowned out spots. And there was 20 acres I would have liked to double-cropped, but by the time I figured seed cost plus the cost of planting and harvesting with a herbicide application ... I didn't care it I planted any more non-irrigated double crops or not.

Catching up

It's really been 3 weeks since I wrote anything! Time flies when ... well it flies anyway. This spring has been a continual struggle. Hit it hard, then sit and wait. Hit it hard then sit and wait. We made a lot of progress Thursday. By 6 PM Friday we were back to waiting on dry ground again.

Steve came and drove a tractor for us Thursday. He disked about 150 acres while Aman cut wheat and I kind of ran around trying to keep everything going smoothly I had planned on drilling double crop beans but ended up spending about half the time in a grain truck. But we finished up wheat, caught up on the double cropping, and Steve got us a couple days ahead of where we would have been.

We finished wheat harvest. Yields and test weight were about the same. Siemer's has tightened their test weight requrements, so anything below 54 pound test weight was being rejected. Any anything below 56 pounds took a real price hit. The most common comment heard in lin at the elevator was "I may not even raise any wheat next year".

Friday I planted beans while Aman made some seed delveries. Then he planted while Sue and I went to see a lawyer for a real estate closing. We are now the proud owners of 25 acres behind the old school in West Union. It includes the paint ball course, but they're supposed to move it.

Oh, and yes, we still have ground too wet to drive on ... but I fired up one irrigator Friday morning and will probably start another Sunday or Monday if it doesn't rain.

We are still planting beans. I disked about 40 acres today for the first time this year, then turned around and disked it again. If it doesn't rain (40% chance after midnight) I intend to plant it Sunday afternoon. We planted the 40 acres at Mom's north and south, then was able to get about 20 acres on Murphy behind it and 16 acres on Gramps south of it planted a few days later. Haven't been able to touch the rest of it. Well, not entirely true. We could have made a round and half around the edge of the planted corn to plant beans but decided it wasn't worth the effort.

I told Mom my goal today was to not get stuck, anything else was a side beneft. Just about didn't achieve my goal. 3 times I had the transport wheels on the disk pushing mud. One time I thought I was stopped. No, I was stopped. I just was able to get it going again.

We were at the point today where we really only had field work for one person, so Aman and Becky took the boys to the antique tractor pull at the Martinsville Fair today to be pit crew for Uncle Ben. He bought a Super M and this was his first attempt at pulling. Becky had a photo of the boys on Facebook, and I can just see the wheels turning in their heads:


Well, yes, it is past 2:30 AM. I fell asleep watching TV and when I woke up about 1:30 I was wide awake. I think I have wound down enough to head for bed. Later all.

Buster

Hope Prairie Farmer doesn't mind, I'm copying something from page 4 of their June 2009 issue. Why is it relevant to me? Bill's wife mentioned in the article is Dad's cousin. See the entire article along with Buster's photo at http://magissues.farmprogress.com/PRA/PF06Jun09/pra004.pdf

THIS is the story of how a little city dog became a big part of our farm over the course of the last year. It’s also a great story of how two lonely souls found a wonderful friendship together. The first lonely soul is my grandpa, who after almost 60 years of living with my grandma could no longer give the level of care she needed and had to move her to an assisted living community a little over a year ago.
Being of exceptional health for his age, Grandpa focused on helping us on the farm. One day last spring, we sent him after a gas cylinder for the torch, and he brought home someone else. He was a young collie-sheltie mix pup named Buster who also suddenly found himself alone after his family had to move away. After Buster’s family moved, he began staying temporarily at the neighboring welding shop until Grandpa saw him and decided to bring him home.
During this past year, Buster has become an outstanding farm dog. He quickly made friends with our longtime farm dog, Sosha. They both do an excellent job keeping the rodents and strangers in check around the farm. Buster is Grandpa’s dedicated tagalong, riding to town or out to the fi elds. He goes no matter whether they are taking one of the trucks, the semi, a tractor or even the motorcycle. Whenever Grandpa cannot take Buster with him, he waits at the south place with Sosha until he sees the vehicle Grandpa took to town coming up the road. Then, like a shot, he runs back up to the other farmhouse to eagerly greet his master.
Buster has shown me what a positive difference a good little dog can make. I am very glad Grandpa has such a good friend to run around with and come home to instead of being alone.
Owner: Bill Furry, Charleston
Writer: Todd Easton, Charleston

Don't think I want an electric fence...

I laughed so hard I had tears. For those of you that grew up on a farm this should bring back some fond memories.

Don't think I want an electric fence...

from http://talk.newagtalk.com/forums/thread-view.asp?tid=100673&mid=712411#M712411

We have the standard 6 ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city.

To make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along the top of the fence.

Actually, I got the biggest cattle charger Tractor Supply had, made for 26 miles of fence. I then used an 8 ft. long ground rod, and drove it
7.5 feet into the ground. The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the better the fence works.

One day I'm mowing the back yard with my cheapo Wal-Mart 6hp big wheel push mower. The hot wire is broken and laying out in the yard. I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger. I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way.

It seems as though I hadn't remembered to unplug it after all.

Now I'm standing there, I've got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 gigavolt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover.

Time stood still.

The first thing I notice is my pecker trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine.

It seems as though the fence charger and the piece of **** lawnmower were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses.

Science says you cannot crap, pee, and vomit at the same time. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second. It was a Matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you're all leaned back and BAM- BAM- BAM you just crap your pants 3 times. It seemed like there were minutes in between but in reality it was so close together it was like exhaust pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand.

At this point I'm about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto the fence wire. My hand is wrapped around the wire palm down so I can't let go. I grew up on a farm so I know all about electric fences.....but Dad always had those piece of **** chargers made by International or whoever that were like
9 volts and just kinda tickled.

This one I could not let go of. The 8 foot long ground rod is now accepting signals from me through the perm-a-damp Ark-La-Tex river bottom soil.

At this point I'm thinking I'm going to have to just man up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas.

'Damn!,' I think, as I remember I just filled the tank!

Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it.

Covered in poop, pee, and with my vomit on my chest I think 'Oh God please die... Pleeeeaze die'. But Nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for the go command from its owner's right foot.

So here I am in the middle of July, 104 degrees, 80% humidity, standing in my own backyard, begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day.....he left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the misery my own stupidity had created.

I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire... I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me, out of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned.

There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then another long skinny dead spot where the wire had laid while I was on the ground still holding on to it. I assume I finally had a seizure and in the resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire.

Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things:

1- Three of my teeth seem to have melted.

2- I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right buttcheek
(not the left, just the right)

3- Poop, pee, and vomit when all mixed together, do not smell as bad as you might think.

4- My left eye will not open.

5- My right eye will not close.

6- The lawnmower runs like a sum0000 now. Seriously! I think our little session cleared out some carbon fouling or something, because it was better than new after that.

7- My nuts are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot long.

8- I can turn on the TV in the game room by farting while thinking of the number 4 (still don't understand this???).

That day changed my life. I now have a newfound respect for things. I appreciate the little things more, and now I always triple check to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow.

The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow.

Mother's Brownies

For Mother's Day, a brownie recipe I was sent

"Mom's Special Brownies"

Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.
Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan.
Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr., "No, no."
Add margarine to 2 cups sugar.
Take shortening can away from Jr. and clean cupboards.
Measure 1/3 cup cocoa.
Take shortening can away from Jr. again and bathe cat.
Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat's tail.
Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour.

Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation.

Take telephone away from Billy and assure party on the line the call was a mistake. Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill.

Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well.
Let cat out of refrigerator.
Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan.
Bake 25 minutes.
Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy.
Explain to kids that you have no idea if shaved cats will sunburn. Throw cat outside while there's still time and he's still able to run away.

FROSTING Mix the following in saucepan:
1 cup sugar
1 oz unsweetened chocolate
1/4 cup margarine Take the darn teddy bear out of the @#$% broiler and throw it away -- far away.

Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman that you didn't know Jr. had slipped out of the house and was heading for the street.
Put Jr. in playpen.

Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes.

Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail slot. Promise to pay for ruined carpet.

Tie Billy to clothesline.

Remove burned brownies from oven.

Collapse and call the baker for delivery.

My wife has left me ...

but she'll be home tonight. Sue and a car load of others went to Lincoln Christian College Ladies' Day. I think she set the alarm clock an hour earlier than she intended, but she was up and ready!

OK, so what is "all that GPS crap" (as my friend Karla puts it) and how do you use it? Installation of a basic systemis simple. You put a box in the tractor cab and an antenna on the roof. Oh, and the tractor is RED, not pink. That's a phone camera for you.



You set the box for how wide your implement is. When you start your first pass you set an "A" point, go to the other end and set a "B" point. It then calculates where every pass should be across the field. When you are in the correct place the light in the row across the middle of the box will be lit. If you ar exact the vertical lines will light. If you are off the vertical lines show you which way to steer to get back to where you should be.
I'd show you what that looks like but that would mean I made an error ...

Something interesting it allows you to do is skip passes It isn't an issue for us, but let's say you were pulling a small mounted implement and your tractor didn't turn very tight. You could skip a pass across the field so turning was easier and then come back and get the skips.

This is straight line mode. There is a curved line mode which follows around curves and such. I've not played with that mode, I don't know if it keys off the AB line or follows the last pass. The problem with the straight mode is if you are off 2 feet on a pass the next pass doesn't correct for that. it just shos where you should have been relative to the AB line. And that may be feature you get for spending more money than we did.

Gotta run. We got one field of corn planted before the rain. I think we are down for over a week the way the weather man is talking.

Stalking the Wild Mushroom

Let's start with something you probably never saw before ... Mom with a grease gun. Notice the disposable glove on her right hand (couldn't waste 2 of them). Oh, and guys, be sure and comment on the new hairdo.

OK, so we are off in search of the wild mushroom. Now a true mushroom hunter scales mountains ... well at least hills and valleys, tromps through the woods to remote spots, and NEVER reveals their secret location. Proper equipment includes a walking stick and a couple empty bread sacks. Wal-mart bags will do, but true connoisseur's use nothing but a bread sack or ice cream bucket. So off we go...

I however just stop the lawnmower in the front yard and start finding these (Note my phone camera handles light strangely. These are white not red)

Successful? Well, Sue and I found 44 in the front yard.

Now if y'all will excuse me, we're having mushroms for breakfast.

Watched my annual basketball game

OK, so I am not the biggest sports fan in the world. It isn't that I hate football/baseball/basketball/soccer/tennis/ping-pong/etc. It just isn't something I get wound up tight about. But we did set and watch a basketball game on TV tonight. The whole game. Marshall High School made it to the state final four. They played good, but just could not hit the basket.

I'm still not ready for Spring, but I am getting closer. We have the Tilloll rebuilt, the new drill is at the dealer's, seed production contracts have been signed, most of the commercial seed corn and seed beans have been delivered, the fuel tanks are full. We are getting there.


Aman and I made a technological advancement this week. We purchased a couple Outback S-Lite lightbars. Just a few years ago this technology would have cost 3 times what we gave for it. It isn't top of the line ... it doesn't draw maps or steer the tractor itself. But they should help us drive straighter an keep our spacing better.